Friday, December 08, 2017

Squeaker Speech for Dummies

Marcus:  Jan took my red rubber ball and hid it.  (Red Rubber Ball)  She had better not take my dinosaur away too.  As you can see, I'm watching Jan!

Rusty:  It won't do you any good.  You destroyed that dinosaur not long after that picture was taken.

Marcus:  I did?  Are you sure?

Rusty:  You chewed a hole and tore out the stuffing to get to the squeaker.  Of course, I'm sure!

Marcus:  No wonder I haven't been able to find it lately.  Maybe Jan will buy me a new one.

Rusty:   I don't think so.  She mentioned just yesterday how nice and quiet it has been around here since the dinosaur was dissected.  You need to learn to take care of your toys before you run out of them permanently.

Marcus:  Oh, that will never happen.

Rusty:  You'll never learn to take care of them or you'll never run out of them?

Marcus:  Both.  My mission in life is to de-squeak and destroy.all toys in memory of Buddy, the best de-squeaker and toy destroyer ever - until me!  I just know I'm making him proud.

Rusty: I remember Buddy in his prime.  He used to squeak the toy, then he would stop and talk to it.  I never did figure out what they were saying but they evidently spoke the same language.

Marcus.  Don't worry.  You can learn the language when I finish the book Buddy was working on, Squeaker Speech for Dummies

Rusty:  I think you should rename it Squeaker Speech by Dummies.

Marcus:  What did you mumble?

Rusty:  Oh, just that I can't wait to read the dummies book.

We did a post when Buddy passed on Sept. 28th. (Farewell Buddy)  This lovely graphic was sent to us by Meezers Mews  & Terrieristical Woofs. We intended to post  it; however, we were upset about Buddy and other things happening at that time, so it was a good while before we posted again, so we forgot about it until yesterday.

Thank you so much to MM&TW (Pipo, Dalton & Mr. Jack Freckles).  You are so kind to do this for bloggers who lose a furry, and your memorial graphics are greatly appreciated.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat and Barking from the Bayou.  At least we hope we are.  Last week we included this and our computer disconnected our internet before we could and we never did get to join.  

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Red Rubber Ball

Micah:  I think we should decide what we're thankful for this week.  Whose turn is it?

Marcus:  It's mine!

Micah:  Again?  What is it this time?

Marcus:  Last month I got a new red rubber ball.  I was having such fun with it and suddenly Jan took it away and hid it.

Micah:  She must have had a reason.  What did you do to it?

Marcus:  Nothing!  I just carried it around.  Bounced it a few times around the house.  Played fetch with Jan in the dog pen.  It was a good, hard rubber ball.  I really liked it.

Micah:  I seem to remember something about you trying to eat the ball.  Did that have anything to do with why Jan hid it?

Marcus:  No.  I eat everything.  What's a little rubber in my tummy?

Micah:  A potential vet bill 

We are joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Five Directional Dogs

Cyndi: It's been boring around here this week, Marcus. We need some excitement.

Marcus:  Perhaps you do, Cyndi, but it's been an overly exciting week for me and Jan. And now we have to look at least five directions when we're walking.

Cyndi: Five directions? I've only heard of four - north, south, east and west.

Marcus: No, left, right, ahead, behind and underfoot.

Cyndi: Underfoot?

Marcus: You mean you haven't heard of our run in with the short dog with the big mouth?

It happened Wednesday when we reached the end of our first lap. A yappy little dog across the street and down a few doors started yelling at us and then he charged. I could have stomped on him but Jan wouldn't let me. She kept trying to turn me around to retrace our route, but every time we started to turn, the dog charged, and he was close. When we turned back toward him, Jan would use the spray bottle she carries. He would run back in the street. Cars would stop. We would start to turn and he would charge again. I begged Jan to let me chase him home, but there we stood with the dog charging and running into traffic until someone blew a horn and scared the dog away.

Cyndi: Wow, that was a bit of excitement. I'm glad I missed it.

Marcus: Oh, that was just the beginning. The next day, Thursday, the great dane mix the neighbors from hell keep tied in their back yard got loose and came over to taunt me. He wouldn't leave, just kept rushing my dog pen barking and then he would stand and watch me race frantically back and forth trying to chase him away. Jan tried to stop me and I ran headfirst into her shin. He finally moved on.

Cyndi: Yes, that was the wrong kind of excitement.

Marcus: There's more. A couple hours later Jan and I started a walk. We didn't get past the porch before Jan saw a black dog walking across a lawn across the street. Guess who owns two black dogs that size? Yep, the neighbors from hell. Was that one of theirs? We'll never know because Jan rushed me back into the house. I didn't get a walk Thursday.

Cyndi: I'm sorry, Marcus. I know how much you need your walks.

Marcus: I'm not done yet. Just before sundown Friday, we set out on a walk. We crossed the street and stopped. Jan gave me my treat for being a good dog. (As in, not stopping to play tug in the middle of the intersection.) She started to unwrap a peppermint for herself. I gave a low rumble of warning to let Jan know there was something behind us. She spun around so quickly she hurt her back.

There was the neighbor's great dane mix. We barked insults at each other. I tugged at the leash. He kept coming. Jan squirted him in the face with the water bottle. He stopped. Jan pulled me back a few steps. He started forward again. We were almost nose to nose yelling at each other. Jan squirted him again in the face and he stopped, then started forward. A car crossed through the intersection, stopped, and the driver leaned on the horn. The dog turned and left.

Jan was shaking so hard I had to lean against her to hold her up. She needed to sit down but she was terrified to come home since that's the direction the other dog had gone. We had to walk away to find somewhere to rest, then we went home on the other side of the street. We didn't get a walk that day either.

Cyndi: I guess the reason Jan was shaking was because she thought she was about to be in the middle of a dog fight?

Marcus: A dog fight? Oh, in the heat of the moment that never occurred to me. I think I need to sit down for a while. My knees are shaking.

Cyndi: Well, this week has to be better. No more scary encounters.

Marcus: Want to bet? We started on a walk Sunday afternoon. We got to the corner and stood there watching a man walking what looked like one of my relatives come into view from around the curve. No, he wasn't walking his dog; he was jogging with his dog. Oops, they weren't jogging; they were running. The guy was chasing the dog,

Jan whipped around and we started walking as fast toward home as she could manage. As soon as we reached our lawn, I stopped to poop. I'm sorry but when nature calls, I need to answer. Jan turned to see how close the dog was. She was just in time to see the guy capture the dog at the corner. That guy is probably still walking bent over since he walked the dog away holding onto the collar, and it was at least several blocks to home.

Cyndi: You must be exhausted after all that in just a few days.

Marcus: I am! I think I'll just stretch out here and rest. Wake me for dinner.

Friday, December 01, 2017

Supawstars Spotlight Vs Reality

Taylor:  I'm so excited.  I just got my first blogging award.

Percy:  You mean we all got a blogging award.

Taylor:  That's what I said.  I just got my first.  Since I was the last to arrive, I was implying this isn't your first one.

Percy:  Oh, for a minute I thought you were taking all the credit for the blog.

Taylor:  There isn't actually much to take credit for any more.  We have become erratic in our postings and -

Percy:  And it's all Jan's fault. 

Taylor:  That's eerie.  You read my mind.

Percy:  It wasn't hard.  It's always Jan's fault.

Taylor:  I wanted to write a Thankful Thursday post but Jan hogged the computer to piece together her part in a meeting.  She could have waited until after we'd finished our post!

Percy:  You know Jan, she has become an early to bed wannabe.

Taylor:  I think we should thank Kittyclysm for giving us one of five Supawstars Spotlight Awards handed out this month. We're in good company with those other bloggers.

Percy:  It lifted my spirits to read their comment - "Full of warm, happy, and heartwarming stories, Jan’s Funny Farm is where you might go after a long day at work to get a smile on your face in an instant."

Taylor:  That's been our goal, to make readers smile.

Percy:  Hey, that was Jan's theme for the meeting notes she put together - "smile, smile, smile".  She thinks everyone needs to give and receive a smile.

Taylor:  It isn't exclusive to us, but this award made us smile.  We may have been missing in action a lot these last months, but we're evidently not dead and buried!

Percy:  Do you think we should tell Jan about the award?

Taylor:  No, it's our blog.  What does Jan contribute?

Percy:  Oh, I don't know.  The computer?

Note:  We plan to resume the Mousebreath interviews after the holidays.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat and Barking from the Bayou.